I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
