shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
