I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
