what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
