You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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