AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
