ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
