exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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