filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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