better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
