I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
