So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
