Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just high enough for therapy.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize