thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
