just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
