It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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