I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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