seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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