I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
