I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
