I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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