she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
