my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
