Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
