I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
