if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
