I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
