I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
