Pappa wants mamma naked
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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