remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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