babies were throwing up all over the place
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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