if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
