so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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