she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
