I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
