there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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