Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
