I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
