so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you win again, gameday.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
