Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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