Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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