I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Shame is for Republicans.
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