My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
