Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
