guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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