Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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