your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
