I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i out mim tonsoeep
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