he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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