Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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