I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
