Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
