so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why is there bacon in the couch?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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