Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize