We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
