Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
