is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize