Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
