Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
