and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
