Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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