Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
