Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
