he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't want my vagina anymore.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
