YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
