can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize